Let’s say goodbye to ugly footwear and hello to flavoured milk as we head into 2024
Illustration by Chloe Latour.
IN – Stickers
There’s nothing like the satisfaction of peeling and sticking, not to mention how delightful it feels to decorate your belongings. Stickers are inexpensive packages of happiness that are the next big phenomenon in design. And I’m telling you this as a certified sticker enjoyer and nothing more. The Martlet even has George the Peacock stickers for sale, if you’re in need of a new one.
OUT – Girl phenomena
Terms like “Girl Dinner” and “Girl Math” have crept their way into mainstream vocabulary, despite belittling women everywhere. Even when used with positive or jovial intentions, inserting the word “girl” before or around everyday activities just isn’t the pinnacle of comedy. It’s time to leave these phrases in 2023.
IN – Instrumental music
Sometimes words can be a little too much. As the music industry continues its transition towards TikTok-fame-motivated earworms, music without lyrics will creep its way into the mainstream. The popularity of instrumental music of all varieties, notably jazz and easy listening (think elevator-style), will rise to new heights in the coming year.
OUT – Tylenol
Let’s take a moment of deep reflection. Everyone knows that Tylenol simply doesn’t work like Advil does. I suspect that the only reason it’s still on shelves is to give us the illusion of choice when we’re looking to solve our various maladies. Plus, Tylenol can damage the liver — and that’s already a known side effect of university.
IN – Rabbits
They’re curious, they’re fluffy, and they’re certainly underrated when it comes to popular animals. This is all going to change in the new year, though, as rabbits will steal hearts everywhere when they take the stage as the official animal of the coquette aesthetic revolution. The lunar year of the rabbit ends in February, but that’s only the beginning for these sweet creatures.
OUT – PDA on the bus
We get it, you’re in love. And I’m so happy for you. But riding the bus is simply not the time for touching noses together and staring deeply into your partner’s eyes. It’s especially awkward when the bus is crowded and stuck in traffic. Maybe just stick to holding hands to spare us all the discomfort.
IN – Chocolate milk
Youthful, sweet, and a little bit immature, chocolate milk is the ideal drink of the new year. We all lived through the flavoured water craze of this past year, and I expect the same to happen with milk in 2024. Nostalgia for Milk2Go will hit an all time high, and millions of students in need of a boost will turn to this treat.
OUT – Uggs
The biggest shock of the year for everyone in the shoe world was that Uggs made their powerful return to fashion. The most popular ones with low tops and aesthetically pleasing stitching seem useless in climates with any sort of precipitation and look shockingly hoof-like, especially on large feet such as my own. Out.
IN – Walking in the rain without an umbrella
It’s time to start embracing the winter rain with enthusiasm. During a downpour, walking sans umbrella can be surprisingly soothing, providing you have a reliable hood. Think about what you miss when there’s something hanging right over your head. What’s more is that coming inside after a soaking wet walk is a wonderfully satisfying feeling.
OUT – Napping on weekdays
Taking a nap always seems like a genius idea. It’s a way to catch up on sleep and relax after a tough class, until you simply cannot wake yourself up and feel unnecessarily grumpy. Napping is on its way out this year as I try to convince myself that it’s cruel and unusual punishment to make my roommates wake me up in time to finish my assignment.
