Important dating do’s and don’t’s students can learn from the hit reality show
Illustration by Sage Blackwell.
Let’s be honest. The dating scene at UVic is nonexistent. The first time I went on a date at UVic, it was with a guy I met through Tinder. I know — gross. I don’t know why or how that happened, but it did.
Let me save you some imagining and let you know that we are indeed not together.
The last two years I have been at UVic, however, I have learned a lot about UVic’s dating scene — both from my own experiences and from my friends. It’s safe to say that not a lot is happening during the year.
With its recouplings, emotional conversations, and the constant test of loyalty and trust, the hit reality show Love Island USA can teach us how to make our love life at UVic more exciting — just don’t try to imitate everything you see on screen.
Whether it’s learning how to communicate better, spot red flags, or survive the cringeness of texting the guy in the other dorm building, Love Island USA reflects (and sometimes exaggerates) similar romantic challenges to those students face in real life. By learning from these (highly televised) cases, students can learn to better navigate the obstacle course of dating in university.
So, without further ado, here are a few lessons that Love Island USA season seven can teach us UVic students who are desperately searching for the one.
Be intentional with what you want
When joining the dating scene, it is super important to know what you want — and then say it! Whether that is a ‘situationship’, casually dating around, or a serious relationship, it’s always important to communicate your intentions and desires with the other person. The Islanders who don’t say what they actually want always end up creating chaos, and the same can happen on campus. Especially if you live in dorms, and you have to see the person it didn’t work out with — because you failed to communicate — everyday.
Mixed signals can get messy, so it’s important to be clear and transparent.
Be bold
Do not — I repeat, do not — beat around the bush. Don’t be the Islander who takes forever to couple up with the person they actually want. I know what you’re thinking: “What if I get rejected?”
While it’s not super common for someone to say “no” on Love Island, it’s a toss-up in the real world. You just have to embrace that, and not take it personally.
A good chat is everything
A good conversation isn’t just what they do on Love Island to fill time on the show — it’s a crucial part of real interpersonal relationships, too. Rather than avoiding having a serious conversation with your date, it’s better to hash it out and be honest.
If you can’t have intentional and meaningful conversations with the person you’re dating, it’s probably not going to work out.
You do not have to stay with one person for the rest of your life
When you are in the villa, it can seem like the villa is your entire life, and you have to choose one person for the entirety of it. That happened in this season’s Love Island, and the chaos that erupted should remind us that getting to know other people is not only healthy, but allows you to learn what you like and what you don’t.
Explore your options (respectfully) before committing to an individual too early — you might end up with a healthier relationship in the long run.
Do not ‘love bomb’ your date!
I think it’s safe to say that saying “I really like you” and “there’s no one else I’d rather be with” to someone on your first date is a bad idea. Well, maybe some people like that. But it is not healthy! Take things slow and see where they go. Allow some space and time, and don’t feel like you need to text them every 10 seconds, or profess your undying love to them. Healthy relationships take time to form.
Do not play it cool
Islanders pretending like they don’t care is Love Island’s oldest mistake. While taking things too seriously is often a recipe for disaster, not taking things seriously enough can be just as risky. Playing it ‘cool’ might make you seem mysterious and attractive in the short term, but it gets old quick. Give your date some importance. Be real and vulnerable — it’s attractive, and it’s how real connections are built.
That’s all the wisdom I can share with you at this time. Love Island is not all bad, but it’s important not to learn everything about your dating lifestyle from the ‘reality’ TV show, or you’re going to be disappointed in real life.
