The creeps and catfishes you’ll meet through Tinder
Victoria was once named one of Canada’s most romantic cities. With so many beaches to go for long walks on, it’s no wonder singles get terribly lonely here — and turn to Tinder to swipe their problems away. Although you might find “the one” on Tinder, Grindr, Bumble, or Hinge, you’re likely to meet a few matches that don’t spark your flame.
And if you’re really unlucky in online love, you might find yourself on a terrible Tinder date.
People describe themselves in their bios as “definitely a bad influence,” “not actually a douche bag,” and “looking for a strong, confident woman … who understands men and appreciates masculinity,” — it’s bound to be hard to meet Mr. Right from swiping right.
The Martlet asked for your bad Tinder stories, and you, dear readers, certainly followed through. We put multiple calls out on our social media but received very few stories from men, and their only “bad date” was one where the girl either didn’t talk enough or didn’t look quite as pretty as her pictures. So all of these stories were from women.
Now, before we get into the dirty details, it’s important to remember to practice safe swiping when you’re online dating. A few good rules of thumb are to meet up in a public place, inform a friend where you’re going and when, and never share your address. Of course, consent is always paramount and can be given or rescinded at any moment.
Going out… on parole
After matching on Tinder, Kelly and Spencer made plans to go on a date. Although they didn’t know each other well, the overall first impression was good — Spencer seemed nice and friendly.
While sipping coffees and walking along the coast, they started chatting about travel. It came up that Spencer liked travelling, but couldn’t leave the country.
This struck Kelly as odd. Naturally, she asked him why he couldn’t leave the country. It turns out Spencer had actually just left prison and was on parole for narcotics-related offenses. Kelly was pretty shocked, but she figured she’d stick around for the rest of the date — after all, what other secrets could Spencer have that would be worse than prison?
After a bit more chatting, he started telling Kelly about his roommate who, believe it or not, was just arrested for narcotics-related offenses.
At this point, Kelly decided to pull the plug on the date and politely asked to go home. While they were saying goodbye, Spencer added that he has two young daughters.
They texted afterwards and Kelly politely said she wasn’t interested. They never spoke again.
Good cop, bad cop
After matching on Tinder, Rebecca and Mike texted back and forth regularly. She suggested they meet up, but Mike always seemed to have an excuse. This was fine with Rebecca for a while but after a month of texting, she found it weird.
After looking into him more online, she discovered the real reason Mike was never down to go on dates: he had a girlfriend.
Mike, of course, had a great explanation prepared for all this — as guys that cheat or borderline cheat always do. Mike had plans to become a cop, and the girlfriend had a family member in the force. He claimed he was just dating her to get his foot in the door.
Rebecca did not find this explanation attractive. She stopped talking to him and never reached out to the girl, but still wishes she had.
Adventures in Residence
Sam and Quinn matched and were planning to meet up. Quinn suggested they go on an adventure — and Sam was game.
Quinn came to get Sam from her residence room, and they immediately started getting frisky. But Sam still wanted to go on the adventure.
She paused and asked Quinn about this promised adventure. Quinn responded that he had no intention of taking Sam on an adventure, and was “just saying that to get into your room.”
Quinn was politely asked to leave. They didn’t speak after that.
“I yeeted that boy out of my room so damn fast,” Sam said, recalling the event.
Netflix and KFC?
May and Maverick went on one date after matching on Tinder. After their second date, May was wishing she swiped left.
May invited Maverick over for a movie night at her apartment. Before he came over, he said he was going to stop for food since he was hungry. He showed up with a bucket of KFC, and started to get comfortable. Maverick proceeded to take off his pants, roll up his shirt to reveal his beer gut, and sit beside her on the couch.
There was not a third date.
He proposed on Tinder
The constant struggle of any Tinder user is how to start that first convo after being matched with someone. Whether it’s a quirky pick up line or a thought-provoking question, most people have their go-to starting lines.
So when Melanie saw the message, “So does this mean we’re married?” from Bryan, she didn’t think much of it. They messaged back and forth, jokingly making wedding plans. Melanie let it slowly fade because she’d lost interest and started seeing someone, but Bryan kept messaging her — every single day.
He managed to find her Instagram and started DMing her about how real their connection was and how he really did want to fly her to Cancun and make her his wife. She disregarded these messages and blocked Bryan.
Two months later, Melanie started getting phone calls from a random number at two or three in the morning. Usually, she slept through them, but one night the person called multiple times, and it woke Melanie and her new boyfriend up.
It was Bryan. He started talking about how he needed to see Melanie to properly propose to her. When asked how he got her number, Bryan said it wasn’t important. At this point, Melanie’s new boyfriend basically told him to fuck off.
Bryan threatened her boyfriend. Melanie can remember him saying something like, “You might be her boyfriend now but you won’t be for long, I know her address,” and then proceeded to actually say Melanie’s address.
They were going to go to the police, but didn’t have any proof of what had happened — no phone record, Tinder message records, or Instagram DMs. Melanie deleted everything, thinking Bryan would just go away. Thankfully, he did, and she didn’t hear from him after that night.
All names and identifying details have been changed to respect the anonymity of sources and their personal relationships.
