Sorry, Montreal — Victoria is officially sexier than you
Illustration by Zoe Bechtold.
Victoria, British Columbia was officially crowned the sexiest city in Canada. According to UVic students, this honour is well-earned.
The thirteenth annual ranking by PinkCherry, an online sex shop, determines the “sexiest city” in Canada based on none other than sex toy purchases.
“We measure or rate our Canadian cities according to consumer purchases and behaviours,” states PinkCherry’s web page, which features the top ten contenders for sexiest city, and sexiest town.
In order to balance the playing field, “sexy cities,” are chosen using data about sex toy sales in locations with populations over 300 000, whereas “sexy towns” have under 300 000 people.
This year, Victoria took the number one spot for the sexiest city. Not Toronto, Vancouver, or even Montreal with its reputation for late-night debauchery. No; it is our tea-loving, thrift-shopping, retiree paradise that reigns supreme. UVic students couldn’t be prouder, and they helped the Martlet understand what, to them, makes Victoria Canada’s sexiest city.
“I totally think that Victoria is the sexiest city,” said UVic student Avery Sikkes. “I think that UVic specifically is one of the sexiest schools I’ve ever been to. Everybody here is always so hot and looks so good. I come from a very small town, so being around so many more people, you just realize how beautiful everybody in this big city is.”
Students across the board mentioned that the main reason Victoria deserves to be the sexiest city in Canada is because of the people who live here. Rose and August, two more UVic students, said, “This city is full of bad bitches. It’s crazy,” and, “There are so many sexy, sexy people inside and out. So many confident, hard-working people.”
UVic students Kai and Brendan agree, saying, “There’s a lot of great people here who are very nice-looking,” and, “Victoria has very nice people to talk to, and they are very down-to-earth.”
“I think Victoria is a very sexy city, especially because so many people here have amazing style,” said UVic student Rae. “Especially on campus, walking around, everybody is slaying, everybody is killing it.”
Besides the people, students agree that nightlife is part of Victoria’s sexiness. “I like going out downtown. It’s such a vibe,” added Rae.
A student who requested to remain anonymous said, “There’s a lot of student life, especially downtown on the weekends and Friday nights…. I think that’s what makes Victoria sexy.”
According to PinkCherry, not only is Victoria the city that buys the most sex toys per person, but its favourite anal toy is butt plugs, its favourite BDSM accessory is handcuffs, and its favourite flavour of lube is strawberry.
The response seems unanimous — no shame, no shock, just the smug satisfaction of a city that already knew it was hot. So, go ahead Victoria; wear your crown with pride. And if you want to celebrate, well… you clearly already know where to shop.
