Deluge

by | Aug 14, 2014 | Features, Stories

Truth is, I like Garnet better when he’s messed up on the sweet stuff, so I hold back on the second swig of NyQuil. No, we’re not sick—you’d have to be an old-timer to catch cold in this heat. The carport is sweltering. We’re shirtless, barefoot, alone. Blackberry...
Kitty konfession korner

Kitty konfession korner

by | Apr 4, 2013 | Humour

I was a cat in a past life. All the signs are there: I nap on my back with my wrists limp as I dream of chasing birds. I like to sit at my living room window and swat the Venetian blind cords. I’m picky as hell with food (except for fish), friends, friends of friends,...

Going number two

by | Feb 28, 2013 | Humour

Everyone does it. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It usually hits you when you least expect it: you’re sitting in a 300-person lecture hall or stuck in traffic on the Malahat, and that burrito you ate for lunch finally comes back in a mutated form to haunt you. The...

Knowing thy neighbour

by | Jan 17, 2013 | Humour

Sunday night, 3 a.m. Midterm in the morning. My mind is full of useless textbook terms and definitions that will no doubt dissipate tomorrow during my jaunty post-exam stroll to the bus loop. I climb into bed next to my favourite stuffed animal and mull over the...

A single’s guide to the holidays

by | Dec 13, 2012 | Humour

You’re sitting at a round wooden table in a Starbucks because you couldn’t think of a more original setting for the first date. He’s 10 minutes late. The old couple beside you keeps kissing over peppermint lattes, the joyous barista is wearing reindeer antlers and...