Humour

Five ways to appease the midterm gods in this stressful time

1. Sacrifice goat cheese I know they say in order to please the gods you need to sacrifice a whole, live goat, but who can come by that nowadays? Goat…

Oracle investors cry foul after CEO upsets secretary

HUMOUR — On Aug. 17, Oracle founder and CEO Larry Ellison failed to attend his own office birthday party in order to sit in on a casting session for his…

10 things that should have already existed by 2013

1. Hover-objects Hoverboats, hover shoes, if it separates my feet from the ground it’d better hover. Sure, in the film Back to the Future Part II, Marty goes to 2015…

Before you die you see The Ring

HUMOUR — I’ll set the stage for you: The world has been destroyed by some kind of nuclear explosion. Somehow, because of some unexplainable event, the UVic campus has completely…

Local profile: Victoria’s only public conspiracy theorist picketer

HUMOUR — A local man often stands between Douglas and Fort streets holding a sign that reads “The Government taps your phone!” and has been there for over 10 years…

A-List: Top four things I feel guilty for… but not really

1. Eating in the library It’s 1 o’clock. I’m hungry. But I still want to study and I’m too lazy to get up. So I continue to eat in that…

Philosophy class interrupted by formerly dead philosopher

HUMOUR — A 200-level Philosophy class received quite a shock last week when an unexpected visitor appeared in their classroom. Not only was this visitor unexpected, but he was also…

A-List: 10 Ways to fight the fleeting of the summer season

1. Bring a beach ball to class and crowd surf it across the room to keep up the spirit of summer  Bring several and an air-pump in case they get…

The long ear and white tail war heats up

HUMOUR — A recent outbreak of animal violence on UVic campus has spilled over from the outer woods and gardens and breached the academic protection that UVic affords students. A…

Can’t get enough?

Our Digital Print Issue

The Martlet on Instagram

Courier

The Martlet
Student Union Building
Room B011
University of Victoria
3700 Finnerty Road
Victoria, B.C.
V8W 5C2