Stories | Satire

The Pepsi of higher education

HUMOUR — Hey UVic. Trey here, a Camosun student. I know, ewww right? Well don’t worry. You can’t catch anything I have via the written word—except my diseased thoughts. Please,…

How the healthy, natural path will lead you down the road to ruin

Stage 1: Water, water everywhere and I don’t want to drink It all starts with the desire to adopt a healthy lifestyle, but eventually you begin to crave anything other…

Man makes scene at Costco

HUMOUR — The Costco staff at Langford was forced to call the authorities last week when a man refused to leave the premises after being caught without a Costco member’s…

90-day search for ES economics students finally reaches end

HUMOUR — After a month and a half of intensive searching, the missing Environmental Studies students from the University of Victoria have been found. It took several paid private investigators…

Altered Living Alliance pushes for Halloween costume ban

HUMOUR — A crowd gathered in front of the Parliament in protest Oct. 22, but this group contained more than your average citizen. Ghosts, ghouls, vampires, werewolves, and mummies alike…

Healthy dose of humility

HUMOUR — Gather ’round. Story time. I worked in a corporate office that had a gym on the second floor. It was awesome! Bored at work? No problem! Four floors…

Oracle investors cry foul after CEO upsets secretary

HUMOUR — On Aug. 17, Oracle founder and CEO Larry Ellison failed to attend his own office birthday party in order to sit in on a casting session for his…

Before you die you see The Ring

HUMOUR — I’ll set the stage for you: The world has been destroyed by some kind of nuclear explosion. Somehow, because of some unexplainable event, the UVic campus has completely…

Local profile: Victoria’s only public conspiracy theorist picketer

HUMOUR — A local man often stands between Douglas and Fort streets holding a sign that reads “The Government taps your phone!” and has been there for over 10 years…