On Nov 8, 2016, I was finishing my anthropology midterm at Camosun College. The midterm was in the evening and took place the night of the 45th U.S. presidential election.
I’m not a U.S. citizen; I’m Victorian born and raised. However, Canada has so many trade and cultural relationships with our southern neighbors that when it comes to a transfer of power we all put down our respective poutine forks to pay attention.
Since it’s been a year since Donald Trump was elected, I decided to interview people who had any memories of the election and were willing to share them. Here are some of their stories.
Student name: Ally Byron
Martlet: Do you remember what you were doing Nov. 8th, 2016?
AB: I was at home with my boyfriend. You can call him, and he’ll confirm it. I didn’t kill McGuff or any of those other dock workers. You’ve got the wrong person.
M: What?
AB: What?
Student Name: Nathan Bragg
M: Do you remember what you were doing Nov. 8, 2016?
NB: I’m in engineering. I’m too tired to remember. I just had like five midterms and three labs due in the past two days. It must be so easy doing — whatever you’re majoring in.
M: Um, I’m in economics. But what were you doing that night?
NB: Oh right. I forgot that economics was a degree that you needed to go to school to earn.
M: Um, I–
NB: Want to know how high the average engineer’s salary is post-graduation?
STUDENT NAME: PHIL Y. BUSTER
M: Do you remember what you were doing Nov. 8, 2016?
PYB: Will the UVSS be lobbying for a petting zoo? I was promised a petting zoo by Energize during the 2016–2017 campaign.
M: I — I have no idea, that’s not even remotely close to what I’m interviewing you for.
PYB: Are you paying me to be interviewed?
M: No. You’re being very difficult.
PYB: You didn’t answer my question.
M: I don’t have an answer. Why on Earth would I know that? I’m not a part of the UVSS .
PYB: Then I won’t give a response to your question.
M: No one reads the Martlet. I can probably use this as a filler regardless of what you say.
PYB: What?
M: What?
Student name: Ethyl Noll
M: Do you remember what you were doing Nov. 8, 2016?
EN: Drinking vodka. A lot of vodka.
M: For the whole day? That’s all you remember?
EN: I mean, we also had a lot of whiskey, but we ran out pretty early.
Student Name: Martin Ayn Gordell-Aurelius
M: Do you remember what you were doing Nov. 8, 2016?
MAGA: Yeah, I do. I was in Florida for a couple weeks leading up to the election and headed home a few days afterward. The weather was pretty nice.
M: Really? Nice. What were you there for? Work or pleasure?
MAGA: Bit of both actually. I was helping commit voter fraud.
M: What?
MAGA: What?
