Education Hurts

A lot of you probably don’t know this because you’re on Facebook all day instead of contributing to society, but some people have jobs.

Shoot me, please: I’m naked

Well-documented nudity not just for young British royalty anymore

Horoscopes for Very Specific Groups of People: Astrology for people who enjoy camping and the outdoors (I don’t)

The hell we gotta go camping for? Stay your ass home.

Horoscopes For Very Specific Groups of People: Astrology for vampires

You should drink some blood this week. And next week. Probably the week after, too. The week after that, though, you should go on a cleanse. V8?

Can I marry my iPhone 5?

Five questions to stave off buyer’s remorse.

Apologies for accidental texts

Hey, just want to say I’m sorry I pocket-texted you in the middle of your orthodontist appointment.

Michael Phelps behind maple syrup heist

A satirical look at Quebec’s most saccharine felony.

Horoscopes For Very Specific Groups of People: Astrology for Kanye West

(Not his fans. Just Kanye West. His star power lets him encompass all the star signs.)

The full-faced fury of beard-dignation

I’ve been letting it grow for the better part of four months, and people ask me why.

Can’t get enough?

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