Spoof

Ford stupored, remains mayor

 By Gaberaham Lunncoln Toronto Mayor Rob Ford was found this past week to be acting in a ludicrous manner in the presence of the media and all those wielding iPhones.…

Lone banjo player plays music downtown sometimes

By Bro Tears A man with a banjo was seen singing something on a street downtown last Tuesday at around noonish. It was folk music, or something alternative, and it…

UVSS bans itself from the SUB

By Neil G. Rayzer In an effort to be taken more seriously by students, the UVSS voted unanimously to ban itself from the SUB. An unnamed interim representative was quoted…

Briefs: the silent killer!!!1!

By Adam Gooddayman Scientists have finally gathered enough information to confirm a long-held hypothesis that briefs, or “tighty whities,” are, in fact, deadly. “Let’s start off with the waistband,” said…

Young man talks to senior in locker room; senior uncomfortable

By Neil G. Rayzer A local student has been reported as speaking unsolicited to an area senior in the change room of a local gym. According to sources, the elderly…

Some club does something

By Wallace Staples A UVic club that re-creates past events has received disciplinary action for their refusal to acknowledge that, despite the inclusion of a famous author’s book series and…

Bros are not “Stoked on the Oldies”

By Steezy Zeezy Three bros have denied their alleged involvement in a charity for elderly veterans called “Stoked on Oldies”. Their legal counsel Ben Dover stated, “My clients unequivocally deny…

Man discovers lost Aztec treasure – becomes queen

By Someone Vancouver, B.C. — A local B.C. man has stumbled upon the discovery of a lifetime. Outside the back porch of his modest Georgian estate in North Surrey, Franklin…

Cookies are good!!!

By PJ Zap OMG, I just love cookies! Don’t you? They’re so good, right? Some have raisins or chocolate and some don’t, but then they have other stuff. Well, maybe…