stories | satire

B.C. Transit bus arrives on time, citizens of Victoria shocked

HUMOUR—As the sun was just shedding its morning rays on Victoria, second-year UVic student Pelty Grables arrived at her bus stop on McKenzie Avenue. A few other bus riders stood…

Altered Living Alliance pushes for Halloween costume ban

HUMOUR — A crowd gathered in front of the Parliament in protest Oct. 22, but this group contained more than your average citizen. Ghosts, ghouls, vampires, werewolves, and mummies alike…

Holiday cooking to be unthankful for

I am a terrible cook. I have, on several occasions: burnt Minute Rice so that it is unrecognizable; served lasagna in bowls due to its soupy consistency; and forgotten a…

Exercise makes hooligans out of our youth

Fitness can be fatal, no studies show

The history is a lie

Big, dirty words like “lie” and “liberal” get thrown around all the time now. It’s a politically charged time, given the economic collapse of Europe and the shocking theft of…

Education Hurts

A lot of you probably don’t know this because you’re on Facebook all day instead of contributing to society, but some people have jobs.

Shoot me, please: I’m naked

Well-documented nudity not just for young British royalty anymore

Michael Phelps behind maple syrup heist

A satirical look at Quebec’s most saccharine felony.

The full-faced fury of beard-dignation

I’ve been letting it grow for the better part of four months, and people ask me why.

Can’t get enough?

Our Digital Print Issue

The Martlet on Instagram


The Martlet
Student Union Building
Room B011
University of Victoria
3700 Finnerty Road
Victoria, B.C.
V8W 5C2