Humour

10 pick-up lines that totally work 100 per cent of the time, every time*

1. “Are you a high priest of the cult of Kali? Because you just tore out my still-beating heart and enslaved my body and soul.” 2. “I’m not a photographer, but…

Gruel from school: University of Victoria restaurant reviews

The Lab eatery Score: 1 / 5 HUMOUR—Just recently I made a trip down to a restaurant on campus called “The Lab.” I have many friends who are always talking…

Gruel from school: University of Victoria restaurant reviews

Mac Sandwich Bar Score: 3 / 5 HUMOUR—Mac’s sandwich bar is straight up weird. You have to actually talk to the people making your food. I’m so used to staring…

Gruel from school: University of Victoria restaurant reviews

UVic Centre Cafeteria Score: 1 / 5 HUMOUR—I went to get some lunch at the Centre Cafeteria yesterday and found it extremely inconvenient. Just to get to the entrance of…

Butterfly creationist groups join together to protest evolutionary theory

The Insect History Convention received unexpected attention on Monday when a large group of butterflies arrived at the front steps of the Monarch Convention Center. Representing their creationist groups, the…

Mysterious doctor in blue police box accosts man seeking medical attention

HUMOUR—Herber Frendt, a Victoria local, received quite a scare after suffering from a heart attack downtown last week. According to witnesses, Frendt walked out of The Binge Eatery on Fort…

10 reasons why you should consider taking a cruise ship home instead of B.C. Ferries

1. Food and drink is included Why pay $22 for a crappy buffet, when you can stuff your face with more shrimp than your stomach can handle? 2. The routes…

Hug Cartel strikes again in downtown Victoria

HUMOUR – The infamous Hug Cartel has struck again, this time attacking a group of charity workers offering free hugs to raise awareness about the City of Victoria’s lack of…

10 new year’s resolutions and how to easily achieve them

1. Clean out the fridge Buy new fridge on boxing day. Put the old fridge outside next to garbage with a “Free” sign on it. Not only are you being…

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The Martlet
Student Union Building
Room B011
University of Victoria
3700 Finnerty Road
Victoria, B.C.
V8W 5C2