Dearest Reader

In the kingdom of the coronavirus, the social outcast is king

I have observed a number of persons beginning to catalogue their riveting new lives across social media, and in these, one cannot help but observe a trend of gradually-evolving but…

Settlers must go home, initiate Back-to-Europe movement

In response to the ongoing conflict between provincial authorities and the Wet’suwet’en people, we must find a way to end the effects of North America’s settler invasion. Thus, I present…

DEAREST READER | An association must be founded to give voice to dejected single people

At time of writing, Valentine’s Day has very nearly unleashed itself upon millions of unsuspecting Hallmark recipients. However, today I write not of the chocolate-recipients or Tinder date-goers, but rather…

All public bathrooms must be banned to ensure true gender neutrality

Some have suggested that all washrooms be made equally inclusive. Conversely, I feel that it is only patriotic of me to advocate a stronger solution. In the interest of true…

Western nations must train Gen-Z soldiers for the era of meme warfare

World War III is soon to be upon us, and, make no mistake, will be a different sort of war. Instead of whining about our entitlement or avocado-eating habits, governments…

Downtrodden folk suffering under rental crisis should try being born into wealth

In the face of a dire housing crisis, proposed solutions have included encouraging personal financial management, building micro homes, and enacting legislation. Instead, readers should seek to be born into…

Dearest Reader | We must embrace the bright side of severe climate change

As the news preoccupies itself with the fires in the Amazon and the growing rate of global warming, let us pause to consider the benefits climate change offers.