Humour

This is the ONLY way to live in Victoria!

Local news staff discovers ways to cut down on rent that landlords will HATE! Everyone knows that the Victoria housing market is causing many aspiring and current residents to contemplate…

Victoria cycling community in outrage at Helps’ plan for pedestrian lanes

Victoria Mayor Lisa Helps is being criticized for giving cyclists the curb degree Monday saw a record number of angry Victoria residents at this past City Council meeting. Reflective vests,…

Breaking: Campus food found to be abnormally good

“This is not what I ordered” One of the most important parts of owning and operating a restaurant is ensuring consistency and adherence to brand normalcy. In the same way…

A freshperson’s UVic survival guide

Your all-in-one manual that’ll keep you savvy around seasoned UVicers Fresh off the Ferry? Attempting to satiate your parents’ shockingly high expectations by half-assing a social sciences degree? Gave up…

UVSS Board considering embezzling money to raise student awareness of union

“If it worked for the SFUO, why can’t it work for us?” Late last week, shocking allegations were levelled at members of the University of Ottawa’s student union (SFUO), as…

We had an AI reproduce over 70 years’ worth of Martlet content

We had our AI write this past issue for us, and here are some articles that didn’t make the cut! Inspired by screenplays written by AIs, which have been taking…

Elon Musk vows to tackle Canada–US relations

Canadian pop-art musician Grimes is expected to aid Musk in the coming discussions Elon Musk, the uncle of Peter Thiel, has gained something a cult following in the past few…

Canada Day voted best national holiday by Settlers’ Magazine

Finally, our country made it onto a list that has nothing to do with drinking water advisories Settlers’ Magazine, a publishing organization known for their motto, “Well I think the…

Clam calamity

The Martlet reaches out to marine life in Victoria poisoned by SSRIs and other medications We have all heard the saying “happy as a clam,” but we could never really…