Humour

A-list: Head-to-toe realistic summer workout

Mental Warm Up Debate buying a gym pass because you know you should go.  Get your brain muscles working harder by actually buying one and debating how much you might…

New nickel features Tim Hortons doughnut

HUMOUR: The last adjustment to the Canadian currency is set to launch in the fall of 2014: a new nickel. The new look will feature a hole in the centre…

Non-profit organization urges public to donate more brains

HUMOUR—Piece of Mind (POM), a non-profit organization that sends brains to Third World countries, held a press conference yesterday asking the public for their support and donations. According to executive…

A-list: 10 ways to spot a tourist

Distinct from Victorians, the tourist is a unique breed of human native to places all over the world. To identify a possible tourist, look closely; they can look a lot…

Sheep are the real heroes

I’ve recently discovered the wonders of what is perhaps fashion’s best-kept secret—the scarf. I’d always dismissed the scarf as a ridiculous gesture toward high fashion, or perhaps an errant nod…

Six ways to ensure you don’t trip before the finish line this semester

1 Don’t sleep Sleep is the enemy; do you really think you do anything productive when you sleep? You don’t have time to lie around all night. Fight back with caffeine…

9 frugal tips for the struggling student

With the end of the semester around the corner, many students are finding their wallets so light they need to tie them down. Here are some tips for our struggling…

Japan announces plan to make mascots 30% cuter

HUMOUR—Kazuo Furuya, Japan’s CEO (Cuteness Engineer Operator) has published a report stating Japan’s plan to increase their mascots’ cuteness efficiency by 30 per cent by 2015. Japan is well known…

CLASSIFIEDS WANTED One free object: Must be roughly two to 10 feet in length. Must be light enough to carry home but heavy enough to harm others. Can be made…