Stories | Satire

Actual death at murder mystery party

HUMOUR — Victoria Police arrived on scene to a Gordon Head house late last night, after receiving complaints about a public disturbance from the neighbours. Police entered the basement suite…

A letter that’s not meant to suggest anything

Yes, it is true that you are smarter than the professor. It becomes blatantly obvious when you recite back the exact thing they just said in more . . . eloquent language.

EAT BEES

“Bees are jerks and not even cool jerks like Walter White or Steve Jobs.”

Canucks seek fresh start with new players, coaches

Yes, it’s that time of year again. After three long days without it in your living rooms, on your home pages, or guided down your throat with all the compassion…

Lorem ipsum

  Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet. Ad eundum quo nemo ante iit. nec nobis labitur cu, est in menandri inimicus expetendis. Sona si Latine loqueris. Libris quaeque ex nec. Vix…

Hopocalypse now

I can’t remember the last time I saw another rabbit. I can’t even remember what a rabbit looks like. I pray that others survived the Great Purge as well, but…

Cup of lukewarm tap water declared world’s most powerful sanitizing agent

This story was originally published in The Peak, SFU’s student newspaper.  HUMOUR — In a move that could very well change the way in which humans deal with sanitation and…

Infant prince pleads for national unity, mother

HUMOUR — Prince George of Cambridge spoke passionately about the impending Scottish independence referendum, pleading for the nation and his mother not to abandon him.

Marvel-ously bad

A biting commentary on modern film franchises