Stories | Satire

Keep Your Enemies Closest

Let’s talk about breasts. Roughly half the people on the planet have them, yet many folks are uncomfortable seeing breasts or even talking about them.

The UVic Edge

Hi there! This is the abstract concept of UVic speaking. How are you? You look so good. We wanted to tell you about UVic Edge, our new marketing strategy.

Dearest Clothing

Sorry to rain on your parade: it is not officially spring yet.

Girl acts as rude in bar washroom as in real life

Friday festivities at Lucky Bar were abruptly halted when local student Brittany Harp cut into the washroom lineup. The 22-year-old, who suffers from Advanced Resting Bitch Face (ARBF), was reportedly…

Hollywood official announces, “We’re out of ideas!”

Variety sources have revealed that Hollywood has finally hit rock bottom as no one can come up with a new, original film. With a lack of new books and newspapers…

Always Fresh: an art history analysis of Tim Hortons

Tim Hortons is a Canadian institution—which recently merged with Burger King, which is ultimately owned by a Brazilian multi-billion dollar investment firm.

Nine people to follow on Twitter for good #content

Let’s get one thing out of the way: your Twitter game is probably subpar.

36 answers that lead to love with the Martlet

In January, a Modern Love essay in the New York Times chronicled how a woman married a man after asking each other 36 questions that, in a study published in…

Spotted: UVic through time and space

Spotted at Victoria College, 1905 Yesterday in mathematics, Miss Charlotte stood on her tiptoes to reach for her abacus and revealed her ankles. I hope I was the only one…