Stories | Satire

Philosophy class interrupted by formerly dead philosopher

HUMOUR — A 200-level Philosophy class received quite a shock last week when an unexpected visitor appeared in their classroom. Not only was this visitor unexpected, but he was also…

The long ear and white tail war heats up

HUMOUR — A recent outbreak of animal violence on UVic campus has spilled over from the outer woods and gardens and breached the academic protection that UVic affords students. A…

Bear sues for slander in response to accusations of attempted assault

HUMOUR — A Victoria local, Derrick Langer, reported that he was attacked by a black bear during a hike near Cordova Beach last Wednesday. According to Langer, the hike started…

Scientists create jumbo shrimp, discover new element

Monsanto scientists began working towards making genetically modified shrimp for the popular restaurant chain Red Lobster, but created more than they had intended.

Holiday cooking to be unthankful for

I am a terrible cook. I have, on several occasions: burnt Minute Rice so that it is unrecognizable; served lasagna in bowls due to its soupy consistency; and forgotten a…

Exercise makes hooligans out of our youth

Fitness can be fatal, no studies show

The history is a lie

Big, dirty words like “lie” and “liberal” get thrown around all the time now. It’s a politically charged time, given the economic collapse of Europe and the shocking theft of…

Education Hurts

A lot of you probably don’t know this because you’re on Facebook all day instead of contributing to society, but some people have jobs.

Shoot me, please: I’m naked

Well-documented nudity not just for young British royalty anymore