humour

The pros and cons of spring

With March 20 officially marking the first day of spring, many students are turning to the outdoors to relieve their stress and soak up some dearly missed vitamin D.

“Cocaine Bear” delivers ninety minutes of action and laughs

It’s funny, fun, and entertaining. It will satisfy lovers of special effects, human-versus-beast movies, action-comedies, and cornball horror.

Please stop commenting on my height

I can’t remember the last time I went out during the weekend without receiving an unsolicited comment about my height. These remarks are almost always good-hearted, but they can get…

Six dinner table conversation topics to be wary of this holiday season

It’s that time of year again! The holidays are here and so are all the best traditions. Gift wrapping, putting up your light display, decorating your Christmas tree. It’s what…

In the kingdom of the coronavirus, the social outcast is king

I have observed a number of persons beginning to catalogue their riveting new lives across social media, and in these, one cannot help but observe a trend of gradually-evolving but…

Settlers must go home, initiate Back-to-Europe movement

In response to the ongoing conflict between provincial authorities and the Wet’suwet’en people, we must find a way to end the effects of North America’s settler invasion. Thus, I present…

DEAREST READER | An association must be founded to give voice to dejected single people

At time of writing, Valentine’s Day has very nearly unleashed itself upon millions of unsuspecting Hallmark recipients. However, today I write not of the chocolate-recipients or Tinder date-goers, but rather…

All public bathrooms must be banned to ensure true gender neutrality

Some have suggested that all washrooms be made equally inclusive. Conversely, I feel that it is only patriotic of me to advocate a stronger solution. In the interest of true…

Western nations must train Gen-Z soldiers for the era of meme warfare

World War III is soon to be upon us, and, make no mistake, will be a different sort of war. Instead of whining about our entitlement or avocado-eating habits, governments…