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A freshperson’s UVic survival guide

Your all-in-one manual that’ll keep you savvy around seasoned UVicers Fresh off the Ferry? Attempting to satiate your parents’ shockingly high expectations by half-assing a social sciences degree? Gave up…

UVSS Board considering embezzling money to raise student awareness of union

“If it worked for the SFUO, why can’t it work for us?” Late last week, shocking allegations were levelled at members of the University of Ottawa’s student union (SFUO), as…

We had an AI reproduce over 70 years’ worth of Martlet content

We had our AI write this past issue for us, and here are some articles that didn’t make the cut! Inspired by screenplays written by AIs, which have been taking…

Elon Musk vows to tackle Canada–US relations

Canadian pop-art musician Grimes is expected to aid Musk in the coming discussions Elon Musk, the uncle of Peter Thiel, has gained something a cult following in the past few…

Buddy Puked goes viral with “aggressively juvenile” song “Ad Hominem”

Punk band formed on campus goes after Jordan Peterson in the single for their new album, “Postmodern Times” “He’s the universal soldier and he really is to blame.” “There’s a…

Clam calamity

The Martlet reaches out to marine life in Victoria poisoned by SSRIs and other medications We have all heard the saying “happy as a clam,” but we could never really…

Name twins at UVic

The struggle of having a common name and having to share it My name is Sarah Mayer. The year I was born, Sarah was the fourth most popular female name…

The BC Ferries survival handbook

How to make the most of your hour-and-a-half boat ride It’s that time of year again — students are soon to find themselves soliciting services from an organization that every Vancouver Island uncle…

Baking with Bix: Foccacia Bread

An uninteresting and intermittent cooking column   Are you interested in making friends by implementing your half-assed baking ability? No? Too bad, because you’ll be making them one way or…

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